i'm beginning to regret my decision in taking up management accounting.
but its too late for regrets now~! ahhhh~
hopefully i wont kill myself upon attempting all those questions,
for i foresee those intense and uber stress days ahead. :(

soon, very soon.


there are just certain things in life where one is unable to fulfil or accede to it.
unhappiness may be caused,
but perhaps thats the best option out for both parties involved,
so as to prevent any further miseries.

i have no intention to hurt anyone in the process,
and whatever my decision is,
its for our best interest.

i'm really sorry if in any ways my words have caused you to feel sad or whatsoever.
hopefully we could still be like what we have always been - a friend who will always be there for you whenever you need him.


Love is complicated;
its hard to be explained and understood.

but, i believe you will find someone way better than me. :)


finally caught the "MJ - This is it" yesterday after class with aunt and brother.
no doubt about the show,
its absolutely awesome.
i'm thoroughly amazed at his moves, his voice, and his perfection in choreographing the whole concert.

however, the temperature in the theatre was kind of a tad too low.
we are basically freezing throughout the show, especially brother.
and he actually drank finished my cup of zapple without me realising it.
its no wonder he was freezing~ :x

at the end of the movie,
i have a stiff neck plus shoulders.
its all the theatre screen's fault.
why on earth do they mount it so high up?

bad bad headache henceafter...


with an aging population,
more and more funerals can be seen at the void decks,
especially in my neighbourhood.

currently there's one opposite my block,
awaiting to set off for cremation.
i was standing by the window last night,
observing as they were burning the incense papers.

many things came to my mind at that time,
especially the funeral of my grandfather that took place only 4 months ago.
the image of his lifeless body,
is still vividly etched in my memory.
everything happened too quickly;
mummy and aunt sent him to the hospital's A&E on that fateful morning,
and that was the last i ever see him again.
i wanted so much to rush to the hospital,
but being sick at that very crucial moment (together with the strict H1N1's preventive measures taking place), there's nothing i can do other than to wait for the phone calls at home.
every second passes as if the world is going to collapse anytime.
anxiety, and more anxiety.
i've never felt so much of an anxiety in my life.
and finally, that dreadful call came.
my heart stopped.
he's gone.

nobody expected him to leave us just like that,
and until now,
i'm still sadden over his demise.
i miss him so much.

what really disappoint me is,
throughout these years when grandfather is going through a hard time,
the daughters are the only ones doing their part,
ensuring that he is in great hands,
and that he's not alone in this world.
what's the point of having a grandson who specialises in the medical field,
yet NOT EVEN ONCE visited grandfather in the hospital and asked about his conditions?
what a 'filial' grandson indeed.
i despise such a person.
not to mention his parents,
they are of the worse lot.
its a shame to have such people in the family.

anyhow,
ever since this tragedy took place,
i've learnt to treasure the people and things around me.
life is unpredictable, and anything can just happen without you knowing it.
love the people around you;
except the ones who doesnt deserve it. :x


i was overwhelmed with emotions after reading the newpaper on saturday.
there's so many 'shocking' stories that somehow affected me.

and the most upsetting yet angry news;

a groomer hit a maltese-terrier with an electric clipper (because it doesnt behave and bit him during the grooming process?), causing its eye to bulge out, and it died henceafter.

OH MY GOD!

doesnt that akin to murder?
and he was sentenced to jail (if i didnt remember wrongly) ... for only 2 weeks?
that's definitely way too lenient of a punishment!

poor dog.
what's more, its only a mini breed that's weighs about 3.5kg.
therefore, what harm can a small dog inflict to us human?

it really doesnt deserve to go through such a horrifying death... :(


brother's 21st in advance.





4 days 3 night of holidaying in bangkok is NOT ENOUGH!
before you really enjoyed yourself,
its time to head back home..
and classes resume the next morning.

i was too tired to go for class today,
as my legs are aching real badly from all the walking.
so i decided to give it a miss! :x

anyway,
it has been 13 years since i last went to bangkok.
of course, many things have changed.
the only thing that remains the same is that,
cockroaches are still everywhere!
it scares the hell out of me.
and to make things worse,
abel tried to frighten me further by claiming that their ground floor are filled with roaches and rats. (luckily i didnt see any~ what a relief!!!!!)

the next trip to bangkok,
i will be there for more days to shop as well as to PLAY.
i've always loved to go to places such as disneyland, dreamworld.. etc
it would be so much fun!!
will definitely visit dreamworld next year with abel;
am so glad that i've found someone who is so into thrilling and exciting rides like i do! :)

not many pictures taken during this trip;
just some random ones..


Changi Airport.













finally, its cousin's turn to get enlisted today.
and its time for him to learn to be more indepedent.

but then,
i'm pretty worried for him, cos he's real BLUR.
hopefully nothing goes wrong and he will be back in one whole piece, safe and sound.

anyway,
i'm flying to bkk tomorrow~
:D
till then.


its been almost half a year,
and my condition seem to worsen as each day passes.
i'm really tired; depressed.

and sometimes,
i really hope to find someone who really understands everything that i'm going through now,
rather than trying to convince me that nothing is wrong!
i know for sure that something is very wrong with me.

although it is ideal to speak to people who are close to me about my condition,
but as always,
nobody seem to believe my words, or be interested in hearing what i have to say.

anyway,
its my own problem and not others;
they wouldnt know how depressing this would be.

i have only myself, both physically and mentally, to fight against whatever that comes.

its tiring.
very.


bangkok trip is confirmed.
will be flying in 3 weeks time!
:D


i hate to say this,
but by looking at those photos make me wanna puke so badly.
it just brings back those 'awful' memories.

words from your mouth can never be trusted.
cos' you'll end up hurting the person.

and certain wounds can never be healed,
for it'll always be remained hidden somewhere deep inside..


i dreamt of my grandfather again.

he was dressed so handsomely at some kind of a wedding dinner.
and we took a photo together.
though no words exchanged,
but i remembered the smile on his face vividly.
it was as though during his younger days,
where he was still full of vibrant and energy.

he was really handsome.

i miss him so much.
just thinking of him would bring tears.

and looking at the state my grandmother is in now,
it brings more tears.

:(

Life is never easy to start with.


somehow,
i'm looking forward to the commencement of the classes.
i cant wait to lay my hands on solving the mathematical questions. :x

most of the subjects will be quantitative,
which is a good thing for me,
'cos i hate having to memorize tons and tons of information.

big head doesnt mean having larger storage system.
my memory is bad.
i dont wanna risk choosing the wrong units again.
(ahh.. corporate finance was a nightmare.)

anyway,
i really hope the ladies would be able to cope well with an extra unit on hand.
we will all help one another to get through this!
:D


results are finally officially released after the 'false-release' last week.
it almost caused me to have a nervous breakdown,
'cos knowing the fact that the results are out, yet you couldnt check it.

SIM is forever giving us such 'surprises'.
what a lousy system.
i reckon something similar is going to happen again during the eCR.
~!!!!!

school is finally starting,
and i need to put in more effort this time round.

hopefully,
no more of skipping classes,
and,
no more procrastinating!


cousin is flying back to canada tonight.
we had a final gathering yesterday,
for a simple k-lunch.

not to mention about the food,
the mere 3hrs was laughters and more laughters.
and i realised,
they could really sing!

afterwhich, the gang went to catch the 'final destination'.
having watched the first few movies,
i totally can't bring myself to watch such horribly gruesome show.
like what my brother descibed me to be,
i've a heart that is similar to the size of a peanut - 'peanut heart'.

alamak, what sia.
its indeed a damn disgusting show can.
definitely not the kind of show i will watch.

anyway,
really hope the cousins will love the gifts which i bought for them.
it had cost me quite alot,
but well, if they like it, i wouldnt mind it at all.
afterall, we may not be able to see each other for a long period of time.

hopefully,
if time permits,
and not to mention having saved enough money,
i would love to fly over to canada.
it would definitely be a different form of experience that one can hardly gets.














damn pissed.

for nothing i was being chided.
never will i meet you again.


我的一番好心，
在你眼里却是一则废话。
最终还被你骂。

好难过，

好伤心，

但我只能把委屈往肚子里吞。


每当想起那件事，
我的眼眶就开始泛红，
眼泪不由自主地流了下来。

算了。

我告诉自己，
从此以后，
我不再干涉你们俩的任何事情。

总有一天，
你一定会后悔你之前的所作所为。
因为你不是在帮他，
而是在放纵他!


- 叹气 -


i loveeeeeee fireworks!




this fat girl always didnt fail to amuse me with her silly actions.
she helped us to lure (sniff) the cockroach out last night,
but at the same time, she was drooling all the way.
what the hell.
that's not a delicacy, silly girl.




i love this picture; taken randomly during the NDP. =)




i cant seem to upload any pictures.
all the icons are missing!

-angry-


the television decided to die on us few days ago.
and knowing the fact that we couldnt survive a day without a tv,
aunt shifted out her small tv from her room.
its pathetic. :x
we've got to strain our eyes to read the words.

but luckily,
the new plasma tv arrived today.
its so much bigger.
i have yet to try it out,
because it was WAR with the 2 dogs in the room.
and i got to clean their pee and shit now.


although no one said anything,
but i know,
all of us is still sadden by it.
and we miss him alot.
there's never a day that pass without me thinking of him.

what's left are the photos;
his presence and his warm smile.


nothing beats meeting up with girlfriend for a dinner.
the food was delicious, the atmosphere was fantastic, and the company was awesome.

she never fail to make me laugh till i almost pulled a muscle.

thats her.

and i'm so looking forward to our next bitching session.

=)


i really hate people who loves to mumble to themselves,
with every word aiming at others,
and at the same time trying to push whatever blames out of herself,
where in fact, it doesnt concern anyone else at all.

we are always the innocent ones bearing all her nonsense yet keeping silence.
but there's a limit to my tolerance,
and i finally broke my silence.
if i didnt do that,
all the anger compiling inside me would have triggered me to murder her,
or i would have killed myself.

she's just driving me crazy.
i'm glad there's a place called 'library'.
it has a healing effect where i drowned myself in all the books,
and isolate myself to prevent hearing all those nonsenses at home.


i wonder if i was just being overly sensitive or that it is really happening.
my mood will just plunge to the very bottom whenever it happens.

i think i shouldnt hesistate anymore.


it was a rather impossible thing for me to stay awake throughout the wee hours of the night,
but i did that last night (this morning),
just to catch the 'live' telecast of the MJ's memorial service.
i'm not truly a hardcore fan of his,
but his songs and dance absolutely attracts me to him.
the ending part when his daughter spoke made me teared.
anyone, whom have seen that scene would have cried too.
it was really sad.
sighs


i miss my grandfather so much.


me: happy birthday fat papa.
pa: thanks cute girl girl.
me: cute is not the word for me anymore. call me pretty girl girl. HAHA.


if only everything that happened is nothing but a dream,
and once we woke up from the dream,
everything is back as per normal.

but that will never happen.


we sent grandma to the A&E last evening.
but i'm glad everything turn out fine.
she looks much better today.
just few days ago,
she was really so weak and pale.
it really scared us all.
we wouldnt want to go through another griefing again.
grandpa's passing has already caused so much of tears and sadness.
speaking of which,
we all miss him alot.
the whole house just seem so different without his presence.
but i believe he did came back to visit us,
otherwise weird things wouldnt have happened.

cousin said he saw rainbows while meditating,
and that is a good sign.
i really hope he's freed from all the sufferings.
he've suffered alot these few years,
and it pains me to see him in that state.
sighs.

no matter what,
he'll always be remembered by us all.
loves.